DMV metaphysics

I had two horrible experiences at the Herald Square DMV in New York City. One yesterday, and one today.

I finally decided the time was right to swap in my old NJ driver's license for a NY one. This was why I had to suffer through the whole SSA process, which you can read about here.

I went there after class yesterday with my passport, social security card, out-of-state license, and bills proving my address. I waited in line for an hour and fifteen minutes just to get to the part where they check your I.D. and take your picture.

Then I was given a number, and waited for another hour to go to a clerk, fork over $42.50, and be given a paper "interim license." The real one comes within a month in the mail.

My dumb ass didn't double-check the paper the clerk gave me (I was starving, my feet were killing me, and I was half-insane from listening to people's children screaming for the past two hours). When I got home I realized that they had spelled my last name Hellgreen instead of Hellgren.

FML.

So I went back today, hoping for a miracle that would allow me to explain the error and have someone simply hit "backspace" on a keyboard and fix it. I shouldn't have bothered getting my hopes up, because today was even worse than yesterday.

First, I asked one of the "concierges"--these two guys wearing suits and ties standing around so you can ask questions about which one of the infinitely long lines you are supposed to wait in.

I batted my eyelashes, smiled as prettily as I could under the circumstances, and asked if there was possibly a way that I could get this typo taken care of, pretty please with a cherry on top. The well-intentioned young man took pity on me and brought me to the front of the "information" line and asked the grouchy clerk on my behalf if there were any way to expediently rectify the typo. The grouchy man looked at my paperwork, looked at me, and told me to get in his line and he'd "take care of it."

Since his line was considerably shorter than the one I had waited in yesterday (30 minutes as opposed to an hour) I was reasonably happy and went to the back of the line. When I got to the front again, he handed me a new driver's license application form, told me to fill it out, and get in the other line!

I reminded him that he had already heard what my problem was, and told me to wait in his line. Why didn't he just tell me to get in the other line half an hour ago when I first asked him?

He blinked at me as if seeing me for the first time and said, "I needed to understand what the problem is, or I can't tell you which line to go to."

Me: "I told you what the problem was, and you told me you'd take care of it. You could have told me to fill out the application and get in the other line the first time I asked you!"

Evil, fat, mouth-breathing DMV employee: "I can't help you with an error on your license here. You have to--"

Me: "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

So I get in the other line, wait for an hour with my fellow sufferers, and here's what really takes the cake:

Once we got up to the last "zag" of the zig-zag cordoned-off line, there was a female DMV employee double-checking everyone's documents and applications. This poor bastard in front of me didn't have the correct forms of I.D. with him, and she told him as much pretty rudely, and kicked him out of the line.

Why the fuck wouldn't you check people's papers when they first get in the line!? Why wait until they've already waited for an entire hour? When my turn came, I told her why I was there, and she said, "Holy crapola" and bumped me to the front of the line. Which saved me an entire five minutes of wait time.

It was a nice gesture on her part, but seriously: why wait to help people until they've already wasted a whole hour? Why the hell wasn't she at the end of the line, offering her assistance before people got in the line?

I'll tell you why. Because the DMV is a cesspit of negative energy. I had an equally terrible (but in totally different ways) experience at the NJ DMV when I changed over my WI driver's license. Every person I've ever spoken to about the DMV has had a bad experience. People expect bad things to happen there, they talk about all the bad things that happen there, and so bad things keep happening there.

It's what Abraham-Hicks are talking about when they say that the Universe matches the energy that you put out there. It's what Ghandi meant when he said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

People go to the DMV with a chip on their shoulders, expecting the worst and often getting it. The entire department is like a magnet for anger, frustration, and lost time. Imagine if everyone thought of only good things when they heard "DMV." Imagine if people went there with smiles on their faces, expecting only the best, seeing only the good qualities in each person they encountered.

I freely admit that I was NOT doing anything to help my situation (though the mistake was corrected in the end), but it's not too late for you! You can learn from my suffering and make the world a better place. Just try it. The next time you have to go somewhere like the DMV (or anywhere else you dread) try your hardest to think of only the good things about it.

For example, I could have been thinking:

"At least the DMV is close to my school."
"At last I get to catch up on my magazine reading and crosswords!"
"It's lovely that all the signs are in English, my first language."
"I'm grateful that I have all my paperwork in order."
"How wonderful that my legs and back are strong so I can comfortably stand up straight for over an hour."
"I am so thankful that these screaming babies are not coming home with me."

When you focus on the good things (even if it takes some effort to see them) you are no longer directing your energy towards the bad things, and the whole experience improves.

This goes for your words, too: when I was talking about my DMV plans the day before, I freely abused the entire system, everyone who works for the state government, and all bureaucracies everywhere. Try to at least speak about your upcoming experience matter-of-factly, if you can't think of anything positive to say about it.

I really believe that thinking and talking about the most positive aspects of any situation will attract more positive energy. If I hadn't been so angry, irritated and rushed yesterday, I probably would have taken the time to look over my new interim license and would have been able to see and correct the error right away. But instead I was wallowing in negativity, grabbed the paper and skedaddled, and look where it got me.

Out of curiosity, has anyone reading this ever had a good trip to the DMV? Please share, and maybe your story will help turn the tide!

Oh, and if you have any questions about changing your out-of-state license to a NY license I'm practically an expert now, so feel free to ask me! I'd be happy to help, and lord knows my karma could use the boost ;)