Anything I see these days, including this spirited graffito, makes me think about moving. I've been feeling galled by many aspects of my environment for quite some time, and I'm discovering just how much gumption it takes to uproot and start over. Not to mention the big dollar sign in the background!
I've had to let go of ideas as well as possessions this month, the main one being my idea of a "perfect move." I began with grandiose plans for a fleet of impeccably organized boxes, a massive sell-off on my stoop and online, and the most efficient, expedited, and economical exit ever orchestrated. After that, I figured I should have enough time left over for good-bye drinks with everyone, some last-minute sightseeing, and getting a head start on job hunting.
Then shit got real and I realized I just need to focus on getting my ass from Point A to Point B without having a mental and/or physical breakdown. Maybe changing my city, relationship status, and job is enough.
I can see now that I've created a lot of work for myself on purpose, so I have something to focus on during my last few days. If I had nothing but free time this week, I'd probably wander aimlessly through the city, buy something I don't need and justify it as a good-bye present to myself, indulge in maudlin thoughts and sentimental soirees, drink too much, and fret about all the unknowns I'm facing.
Perhaps a "perfect move" is one that keeps me occupied but not overwhelmed. I've never been more aware of the need to take things one day (or one hour) at a time, and that's certainly a practice worth keeping.
No comments:
Post a Comment