Query letter evolution

I haven't finished organizing my thoughts on the stylist shopping trip yet, but I do promise to share!

I still haven't heard from the woman who requested my full ms, and last night I sent out another query letter with sample pages and a synopsis. I'm posting the latest version here because one of the ways I was able to teach myself how to write a query letter was by reading lots of examples posted by writers and agents on their blogs!

The letter should be as unique as the book it's pitching, and I've also realized it will need to be rewritten for each individual addressee. It all depends on the tone of the agent's website or profile--you have to find a way to make it personal, because nothing is worse than a generic letter.

Who knows? Maybe I'll post again in a few weeks and say, "this is the query letter that landed me an agent!" Or maybe I'll post in a few months and say, "here is the thirty-seventh revision of my query letter!" Time will tell!

Dear Ms. xxx,

My eyes lit up when I read on the xxx website that you are looking for voice-driven realistic fiction and a young middle-grade series! I hope you will be interested in my adventurous young adult novel, ROSALYN'S GRAVE.

Eleven-year-old Rosalyn Boatwright is barely surviving the sixth grade: she’s awkward and unpopular at school, her single father seems oblivious to the fact that she’s growing up; and in just two days she manages to injure herself while trespassing, get kicked out of health class, and cry at a slumber party. A visit to her grandmother, the renowned adventurer Pearl Key, sounds like a much-needed escape—until she learns that not only is Pearl nightmarishly ill, but Rosalyn is the only one who can lift the deadly curse by returning a stolen necklace to its rightful owner.

Accompanied by three of her least-favorite people, her aloof French-Canadian grandfather Serge, his annoyingly perfect daughter Michelle, and Pearl’s mysterious companion Sayani, Rosalyn braves the harsh terrain of the Inca Trail in search of a hidden cave. Confronted with betrayal, secrets, and ultimately her own grave, she discovers there’s more to growing up than keeping pace with your peers, and there’s more to Rosalyn Boatwright than she ever suspected.

I wrote ROSALYN'S GRAVE for voracious young readers: the ones stashing books under their pillows to read with a flashlight after lights out, hoping to meet a character they can relate to, cheer for, and essentially grow up with. This full-length novel (complete at 96,000 words) explores an adolescent girl's relationship with her father and with herself, and the pernicious consequences of cowardice.

I studied creative writing at the University of Wisconsin and at the Gotham Writers’ Workshop, and have published several articles in a local newspaper (The Williamsburg Greenpoint News and Arts). ROSALYN’S GRAVE was written with a view to become the first of a series. The first ten pages and a synopsis are included in the body of this e-mail.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my submission.